Saturday, March 31, 2007

Humor - Joke - Of - The - Day

MEN

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-
shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
And they say blondes are dumb...
------------------------ -----------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says,
"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."
The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."
-----------------------------------------------------------
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped
out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think
if I mowed the lawn like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive
man?

A: A rumor

-----------------------------------------------------------

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her
hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!

Gotta love that fairy!

-----------------------------------------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll
beat him to death.
AMEN
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
-----------------------------------------------------------


Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.
-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Banana Nut Bread


Banana Nut Bread
3 large or 4 small ripe bananas

1/2 c. shortening

1 c. sugar

2 eggs

2c. flour

1 t.soda

1 t. salt

1 cup chopped nuts

Cream sugar and shortening. Add well beaten eggs,then flour,soda and salt which has been sifted together. Add nuts and well mashed bananas.
Bake 1 hour at 350 degrees in loaf pan
Or 30-35 min. in muffin pan. Test with toothpick to check if done.Enjoy!

Pecan Pralin Snacks


2 cups Whole Pecans
1/2 cup Packed Light Brown Sugar
4 tablespoons Heavy Cream



Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

In a medium bowl, combine all ingredients.

Spread into a square baking pan, sprayed with cooking spray.

Bake in the preheated oven for about 20 minutes, or until coating is dry, and slightly crystallized, stirring once.

Remove from oven to cool and stir once more. If not serving immediately, store in an airtight container.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Double Chocolate Delite Brownies


2 eggs
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
1 stick margarine
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate chopped
1/2 cup all-purpose flour

Chocolate ganache for topping, recipe follows

Special equipment: 9-inch round foil cake pan
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

Using a hand held electric mixer, beat the eggs and salt together in a large mixing bowl until frothy. Add the sugar and beat until the eggs are thick and pale yellow, about 2 to 3 minutes. Add the vanilla extract and beat an additional 30 seconds.

Put the margarine and chocolate in a microwave safe container and microwave on high for 1 minute. Stir to insure that the chocolate has melted. Microwave an additional 30 seconds, if needed.

With the mixer running, pour the melted chocolate into the egg mixture. Add the flour and beat 1 minute. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and beat an additional 30 seconds.
Spray the cake pan with a pan release spray and pour in the brownie batter. Place the pan on the top rack of the oven and bake 15 to 20 minutes until the center is barely set.* Remove the pan from the oven and let cool.

Top with the ganache and place in the freezer for at least 1 hour.

To serve, remove from freezer and slice immediately.
Allow to come to room temperature before serving.
*Cook's Note: If tested with a toothpick the center will still be gooey. If tested by touch, the center will be soft. It will set once frozen.

Chocolate Ganache:
1/2 cup (4 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup heavy cream

Put the chocolate chips and cream into a microwave safe bowl. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Remove the bowl and stir with a whisk or fork until well mixed. Use immediately. If using the ganache later it will need to be reheated.
Yield: 3/4 cup

Chicken Pasta Casserole

Quick and Easy Casserole

2 Pounds cooked Chicken--Grilled,Broiled,boiled,Fried,remove skin after cooked

2 10.5 Cans of Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup

1 1/2 Cans Half and Half and 1/2 can of water--use soup can to measure

Salt and Pepper to taste

1 Bag Capitanelli Rotini Pasta

In large microwaveable bowl pour soup into it,then add liquid small amount at a time,mix well.

Add cut into small bite size cooked chicken and mix. Heat uncovered about 8 minutes.

Bring 4 Quarts of Water to a hard boil , then add Pasta,cook 8 minutes,drain.Add all but 2 Cups

of Pasta to chicken mixture , mix well and microwave for 2 more minutes.

Serve plain or sprinkle shredded cheese on top.


The extra pasta can be used to make a salad for the next day.

Add boiled eggs,onion,pickle relish,mustard and mayonnaise to taste,mix well.

Colorful Corn Salad

Corn Salad

1 2/3 Cups Frozen Whole Kernel Corn
1 (4-ounce) Jar Diced Pimiento,Drained
1/2 Cup Chopped Green Pepper
1/4 Cup Chopped Green Onions
1 Tablespoon Sugar
2 Tablespoon Cider Vinegar
1 Teaspoon Celery Seeds
2 Teaspoon Vegetable Oil
1/4 Teaspoon Salt

Cook corn according to package directions,
omitting salt.Drain well,and let cool.
Combine corn,pimiento,and remaining ingredients in a medium bowl,stirring well.
Cover and chill salad at least 3 hours.
Yield: 4 servings
Calories-88
Carbohydrate-16.7
Fiber-1.7

Cantaloupe-Blueberry Salad

A Great Low-Fat Salad

1 (8-ounce) carton vanilla low-fat yogurt
1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice
1 1/2 Teaspoon Poppy Seeds
1 Teaspoon Grated Orange Rind
1 Medium Cantaloupe,peeled and seeded,chilled
24 Boston Lettuce Leaves
2 Cups Fresh Blueberries,chilled

Combine first 4 ingredients;stir well.Cover and chill throughly.
Cut cantaloupe lengthwise into 32 slices.
Arrange 4 slices on each of 8 lettuce-lined serving plates;top each with 1/4 cup blueberries.
Spoon yogurt mixture over salads.
Yields:8 servings
Calories -83 per serving
Carbohydrate-17.7
Fiber-2.8

Monday, March 19, 2007

Crabmeat Pie

Crabmeat (Frozen Broccoli or Tuna) Pie

1/2 Cup Mayonaise

2 Tablespoon Flour

1/2 Cup Milk

1 2/3 Cup Crabmeat or 7 1/2 ounces Tuna or 8 ounces Frozen Broccoli-chopped

8 ounces Cheddar Cheese

1/3 Cup diced Green Onion

Choose Crabmeat,Tuna or Broccoli, then mix other ingredients.

Pour in a unbaked pie shell,bake at 350 degrees 40-45 minutes

Insert knife in center,done if comes out clean

Barbeque Shrimp

Quick and Easy

1/2 Pound Butter

2 Dozen Shrimp

1 Teaspoon Pepper

1 Teaspoon Salt

1/2 Cup Worchestershire

2/3 Cup Ketchup

1 Teaspoon Garlic

Simmer Butter and Shrimp 5 minutes

Then add other ingredients and simmer 7 minutes.

Great served with rice

Cleaning Cooper Pots and Pans

It's Like Magic

All you do is pour a thin layer of ketchup on the cooper bottom

it starts cleaning instantly,just rinse off.

If your child sees this they might want to help with the next one.

Now that would be Magic !

Helpful Hints for Sticky Rice

No More Sticky Rice

Here is the trick to the perfect rice,

Melt 1 tablespoon Butter in frying pan,I prefer a non-stick pan.

Add 2 Cups of Rice and saute on Medium heat ,
stirring often to get the butter and rice mixed well and cooked evenly,until rice looks clear,(transparent)

Add 4 Cups of Water bring to a boil,

then cover with lid and reduce heat to medium low,do not stir rice at this point,
cook until all water is absorbed .

I like to make extra rice so the next day I can make a Stir-Fry


I like to keep a bag of Stir-Fri Veggies in my freezer for a side dish,or a whole new meal.


Just add any extra chicken , beef or pork to veggies

and serve over rice.

TIP : To store rice or pasta and keep it from clumping or sticking

together put it in a ziplock bag.It really works !


Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Pineapple Upside Down Cake

You decide the flavor of the cake

1 Box Betty Crocker Butter Recipe Yellow Cake Mix
1 Stick or (1/2 cup) Butter -melted
20 oz. Crushed Pineapple-drained and reserve liquid
16 oz. Maraschino Cherries-drained and reserve liquid
1/2 cup Dark Brown Sugar-packed
1 cup Walnuts or pecans-finely chopped

Preheat oven at 350 F.
Line a 9 x 13 inch pan with parchment paper
Pour melted butter evenly in bottom of pan
Place about 36 maraschino cherries randomly all over the bottom ,do the same with the drained pineapple,nuts then the brown sugar .

Cake Mix-follow directions on package.Expect when it calls for 1 1/4 cup of water,this is where you decide what flavor of cake you would like.You can use water or the reserved pineapple liquid with water or cherry liquid to equal 1 1/4 cups. Beat 2 min. or until well blended.Pour into pan evenly.Bake 35 -45 min.Insert knife in center,if comes out clean,cake is done.While still warm,place plate or carrier on cake,hold on to both and flip over,remove pan then parchment paper . Let cool,garnish with remaining cherries and parsley (optional) Enjoy